Light a candle directly in front of your automatic Glade spray air freshener that way every 9 minutes a fireball shoots across your living room table, intimidating your house guests, asserting your dominance in your domain
girl i hope you appreciate your boyfriend. he just stood practically on top of a horror movie monster so you could get out of the elevator first. he loves you.
are we going to ignore the actress who got kicked in the face
well thats the price you pay for fucking terrifying someone
This whole post is GOLD
Yea, if you’re an actor and you deliberately try to freak people out then you need to be aware it’s flight or FIGHT. There’s a chance that someone will run away screaming but someone could also square up and try to kick your creepy ass.
By deciding to be a creepy bastard you are accepting the possibility that you might end up getting hurt and I do not feel sorry for you.
But a quick reminder: if you go to a haunted house, DONT GO if you know you react to fear with violence. You’re paying to be scared by these actors; they’re doing their jobs. They don’t deserve to be punched for something you signed off on.
But if you’re an actor or prankster who’s picking targets who didn’t consent ahead of time, be warned, you might get punched.
this is the scariest tweet ive ever seen reading this made me feel like im in the twilight zone
<I>what the fuck is buffalo chicken dip</I>
it’s 2028, alexa informs you that a radiation storm is rolling in from the eastern wastes as your food replicator slowly prints a plate of soy protein wings. your wife holoprojects from work to tell you she has another nine hours at the amazon warehouse and she’s gotta go before she burns her unpaid five minute lunch break. the seven friends you’re sharing a studio apartment with are huddled on the floor, each jacked into vr rigs. the superbowl is endless and your heart is a yawning void.
Just finished a session with some first time D&D players and this is the description sheet for a player’s human bard who casts spells by giving informational speeches
My doggo, Ezri, who rarely barks and mostly borks.
When I got her, she’d been abused and would cower and pee at almost everything, and had been mistreated when she’d barked, so she never would. One day months after I had her she got excited on a walk and borked at a bird, and then immediately cower-peed. I had to re-teach her to bark by gathering her whole human pack and having everyone bark and howl and feed her treats and pet her till she got excited enough to join in, and then got more treats. Took a while but I was able to teach her to bork on command (and she’s gotta be excited or she just stares at me like “Sorry, the bork system needs charging”) and she’ll do it happily when she’s excited to go for a walk or upon seeing a friend, and at birds. I love her croaky borking, especially when she started off terrified of making a joyful noise.
I… did not expect this post to blow up this much but I am delighted at all the tags and replies and Ezri has been told the internet thinks she’s a Very Good Dog. :D
She’s a German spitz - in the same family as keeshonds and pomeranians. She might be crossed with something else as her freckled coat, non-pointy nose, and personality are not standard for her breed (they’re usually a lot more high energy and excitable - she’s super laid back and chill). She’s a bit less fluffy than breed-standard too, mostly because she’s grown out from her spring/summer trim (not usually necessary/good for her type of coat but she gets terribly itchy otherwise). It also makes her look like a puppy of a large breed:
Ezri’s best friend is Murder Cat, who is a gentle friend to humans and Ezri, but does things to mice that would make Hannibal Lecter go “Isn’t that a bit much?”
I got Murder Cat as a kitten, and she used to try to nurse on everything when she was small. Eventually, she settled on her favourite thing to nurse on, Ezri, who has never had puppies and a little confused at first but eventually went with it. She grew out of it, but they have stayed snuggly buddies ever since.
New Years here is full of fireworks outside and Ezri gets Vry Scared. I usually set her up somewhere with a snuggly spot right by me, and Murder Cat comes and does this all night:
She goes everywhere with me in my bakfiets (cargo bike) and lets me warm my hands in her fur on cold days.
And her ears disappear if I say her name to get her attention.
ok so great thanks for coming to my TED talk about my dog, good night, drive safe
Nomitkon, Tajikistan — I’d never seen a bread eating cat before. But this cat loved bread. He would practically sit down at the table and wait to be served. The owners would throw him a few pieces and then throw him out of the house, but he would soon sneak back in and continue looking longingly at the loaves.
